Wife:"Tum Mujh Se Kitna Pyar
Wife:"Tum Mujh Se Kitna Pyar Karte Ho?"
Husband:"Shahjahan Jitna."
Wife:"Mere Marnay Ke Baad TAJ MAHAL Banao Gay?"
Husband:"Main Nein To Plot Bhi Le Liya Hai,DELAY To Tum Kar Rahi Ho!!!"
Sardar : goes to police
Sardar : goes to police station and complains to police... Koi mujhe phone pe dhamkatha hai.
Police : kon phone karke dhamkatha hai
Sardar :Airtel wale bolthe hai Bill nahi bhara tho "KATH DENGE"
EK CHOTA SARDAR APNI PRAGNANT
EK CHOTA SARDAR APNI PRAGNANT MUMMY SE POCHTA HAIN K IS MEIN KIYA HAIN,, MUMMY BOLTI HAIN,IS
MEIN PYARA BABY HAIN,SARDAR,PIYARA THAA TU AP KHAAA Q GAEY,...
Ek bar Sonali Bendre Bala
Ek bar Sonali Bendre Bala Thakre se milnr gayi. Thakreji pyar se bole, "Sonali Bend-re". Tab Sonali bend hui
aur boli, "Bala Thok-re".
Ek molvi apne wife say:jab
Ek molvi apne wife say:jab main mar jaoun thu samny wali ko zarour bulana.wife:who kion? molvi:who murdy
su lipt lipt kr roti hy.
baap bachay ki khatnay maire
baap bachay ki khatnay maire ghar par hoogi,maaa nahi maire maike mein hogi,bachaa khatnay kaheen bhi
hoo khaal bush ko hee jaeygi
2 Ghadhe{donky}apas main bateen kar
2 Ghadhe{donky}apas main bateen kar rahe thay.1st yar mera malik bohat zalim hay.bohat marta hay kaam
b zyada leta hay.2ndto tum bhag jao na is ko chood ke.1st yar bhag to jaon per ik waja se ruka hoon.mera
malik jab b apni BETI se ladayi karta hay na.to us ko ye kehta hy ke beti tum sudher jao warna main ney teri
shadi GADHE se kar deni hay..
Mobile repair karne waale ko
Mobile repair karne waale ko agar loose motion ho jaye to wo doctor ko kese xpalain karega?
DOCTOR sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hai,outgoing mai takleef ho rahi hai,subah se naye naye
ringtones baj rahe hai,or pait mai balance nahi bach raha hai,jitna bhi recharge karo jaldi kharch ho jata
hai:-)
Aeroplane ask rocket:Yaar tum mujse
Aeroplane ask rocket:Yaar tum mujse tez kese bhaagte ho.
Rocket said: Jiski G---D mai aag lagi ho wo he jaane..
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..
Mere dardon ki tuje aesi
Mere dardon ki tuje aesi saza miley'
tuje bohot zor se susu aye!!!!
or kahi karne ki jaga na miley.
ladhki k baap ne vidhai
ladhki k baap ne vidhai k time dulha se kaha:
"Beta ab humari izzat tumare haath mai hai"
Dulha: Pareshaan mat ho aaj he loot longa"
Boy:Tote hue dil se pyar
Boy:Tote hue dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi???
Girl:Tuti hui chapal se pite ga ya chapal tutne tak pitey ga???
A girl & her grandma
A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise
is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside". satish
3 Fastest means of communication 1
3 Fastest means of communication
1 : Tele-Phone
2 : Tele-Vision
3 : Tell-a-women
Need still faster?(Copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Tell her not 2 tell any1...Swapnil
Survey Subject:In how many days
Survey Subject:In how many days a 1000 pgs book cn b read.
Writer-6months, Doctor-2mnths, Lawyer-1month, STUDENT-ON THE NIGHT B4 THE EXAM.
Wife:Suno j i mujhe new
Wife:Suno j i mujhe new brazier lenaa hai
Husband:Brazier ki kya zarorat hai itne chotay chotay tu haim.
Wife:kal tumne underwear liya mai kuch boli......
After de death of EMRAN
After de death of EMRAN HASHMI what will be written on his grave "DONOT DISTURB" Soney de SAALE ko
pehli baar to akela so raha hai!
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM
ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER...
A man on wife's BIRTHDAY
A man on wife's BIRTHDAY had no money,so he sent a cheq 100 kisses.When he returned home his wife said
"THANKZ 4 CHEQ I GOT IT CASHED 4M BANK MANAGER"
kal main ne hawksbay per
kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal
gheley howe
ye kase mumkin hain
baqi 3 ganje they saqi
Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay
Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga.?
Ans...Jis din rakhi ---*---
aur friendship day ---!!---
ek saath padega Raman
Tumhary saath kia masla hy? har
Tumhary saath kia masla hy?
har wakt pregnent rehti ho
jab bhi tumhain sms kia
tumhari delivery report aa jati hy seema
larka: tootey huey dil se
larka: tootey huey dil se pyaar karo gi, ya dil tootney tak pyaar karo gi?
larki: tootey huey chappel se maar khao gey, ya chappel tootney tak maar khao ge??
After confessing dat he raped
After confessing dat he raped a woman,a blind man said:"I saw her naked & I couldn't help it."
da-
Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse
Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
Medical Shayari When you breathe,
Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!
Q........Y do girls dont put
Q........Y do girls dont put mobile phones n their BRA?
A.........Bcoz Vibration convert milk into Lassi..hahahahha Azam Hoti
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers...
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
this is your mobile operator
this is your mobile operator we can see that you are too dump to use your mobile please put it on the floor and start jumping on it
Boys say it's great, boys
Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine.
9 months later they say it's not mine !
Kisi VAKEEL s pyar mat
Kisi VAKEEL s pyar mat karna vo kahega"I OBJECT" Kisi DOCTOR S pyar mat karna vo kahega "NEXT" Pyar karna TEACHER Se kahega"DO IT 5Times"
Xiteez Teacher:Name 5 polar Animals ? student:Raindeer n h is 3 brothers.......... n a sister........
Xiteez
Teacher:Name
5 polar Animals ?
student:Raindeer
n
his
3
brothers..........
n
a
sister........
3 sardar where going on
3 sardar where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...! sonu Burhanpur
God apun se puchha,kidhar jana
God apun se puchha,kidhar jana mangta? SWARG YA NARK? Apun bola NARK! Apun janta,tum saala dost log udharich milega. Aur jidhar tum log,woich apun ka swarg;-)
always keep a picture of
always keep a picture of ur wife in ur wallet look at it when u r in trouble u will feel that other problems r not as big as this one
lady drinking coke, machar falls
lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaaaaaaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaaaaaaaaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon
girl:aamir u will try to
girl:aamir u will try to kiss me ,
mien shor macha don gi,
boy:likan yaha tu door door tak koi nahien hay.
girl:i know but formilty tu karni hi pare gi
teacher: anita ne gass kai
teacher: anita ne gass kai : is ka future tens batao?
sardar student: anita kal dhood degi hahahaha
It is said that inzamam
It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once a commentrator asked,"hey inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true"? Inzi said "Bismillah Hirrehman Nira Raheem first of all i thak to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially Afridi do very well if they continue we can have another chance.
aj ki taza khabar 10
aj ki taza khabar 10 ko bewkoof banaya. . .
plz press down 4 details. . .
Ab ki taza khabar 11 ko bewkoof banaya...
a guy & his girlfriend
a guy & his girlfriend were bored anb had nothing 2 do,de guy suggested:'let's play a little game,i'll b chiefs and u b pirates.de girl protested:no no,u just want 2 f**ck me..//
man1:did u know that more
man1:did u know that more than 97% of the ppl have tv's than bathtubs??...
man2: which proves that more brains are washed than bodies...
woman:"last night i dreamt of
woman:"last night i dreamt of u buying me a diamond necklace"
man:"tonight, go to sleep and enjoy wearing it"
A mobile is like women
A mobile is like women :- TALKS NON-STOP, COSTS A FORTUNE, DISTURBS WHEN UR BUSY AND WHEN U NEED THEM URGENTLY THEY HAVE NO SERVICE..
Teacher: What r the people
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
Boy asks: Tute hue dil
Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge..
A Nurse come in Doc's
A Nurse come in Doc's Room.
Docs Asks: Why is ur one Boob out of ur Shirt?
Nurse ans:
Oh! These medical students never keep the things at place after use.
a baby boy & baby
a baby boy & baby girl making bath in bath tab.
baby Girl saw down of boy and asked.
can i touch your peen,
OH NO NEVER.
you have already broken your own
Pledge of BOYS - India
Pledge of BOYS - India is our nation,girls r our destination, dating is our occupation, flirting is our proffesion,to hell with education...
Ek bus mein ladko aur
Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao...
Boy to girl in romantic
Boy to girl in romantic mood"Mug sa Shadi karoo gi?" She reply "dakhee thi achi film hay"
Boy to girl"Yaar aag kaal
Boy to girl"Yaar aag kaal shahre sa texiya katam hoo gayee hay" She reply
" kiya kare bai Riksha jo chalne shoroo hoo gaye hay"
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai
8 years boy caught in
8 years boy caught in RAPE case. Lady lawyer holds his penis & says UR HONOUR see him, can he RAPE? Boy silently: HILA MAT WARNA CASE HAAR JAYEGI
no men no women no
no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!
Class main ek larki biskit
Class main ek larki biskit kha rahi thi thora kha k breziar ma chupa liya,
Sir ne pucha ye kya kr rahe ho sat wala bola dood ma dabo dabo k kha rahe ha
Girls hostel ki light chali
Girls hostel ki light chali jatti hai ek larki complain office phone karti hai "Light chali gai hai" "Aadmi bnaijo Replied" "Aadmi nahi hai mombati se kaam chalao"
Jis dor may telephone digital
Jis dor may telephone digital nahe hua kartay thay CLI nahe aya tha, us waqt log police stations phone kar kay police walon ko abusing kartay thay. Aisay hee dore main aik larkay nay thanay phone kia
Larka: hello kon?
SHO: SHO thana bola khan speaking.
Larka: Ap kay hath main is waqt kia hay?
SHO : Danda
Larka: Ussay apni G***D may lay lo
SHo bara gussa hua, Exchange phone kia aur number manga kay kahan say phone aya tha, aaaddhay ghantay bad number mila SHO nay call kee to koi aur awaz sunai dee
SHO : hello is number say mujhay abhee kisi bachay nay phone kia tha aur abusing kee hay main SHO thana bola khan bol raha hoon, aapka larka bara bat tammez hay issay kuch tamez sikhaen.
FAther: ohhh sory lekin us nay kahan kia tha?
SHO: Kehta tha kon ho mai nay kaha SHO bola hath mai kia hay may nay kahan Danda, kehta tha G***D may lay lo
FATHER: Ohhhhh sory , wesay kitnay dair pehlay kee baat hay?
SHO aadha ghanta
FATHER: to phir ab bahir nikaal lo
Teacher, billi k itnay saray
Teacher, billi k itnay saray bachay kun hotay hain?
student, miss agar aap bhi kapray uttar kar bahir ghoomain to aap k us se bhi ziada hon gay.sameer
Devdas says to paro:aik sham
Devdas says to paro:aik sham mera naam ker do.
paro : ja ja main kahan or tu kahan.
Devdas:itna garoor tu CHAND ko bhi nahin hai.
Paro:kase hota CHAND per dagh jo hain.
Devdas called his son(CHAND):Tu aaj phir nahi nahea... IMMI
Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh
Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega cidny
JUST IMAGINE... life without girls. result=markets silent,streets
JUST IMAGINE...
life without girls.
result=markets silent,streets empty,police at rest, All mobile companies in loss,no sms,no flowers, no valentiens,no candels, no perfumes, no travelling, ALL THE MEN DIRECT TO HEAVEN ...
One day a lady coming
One day a lady coming from from a womans meeting said to her husban ntate bare njwale re ya lekana and the husband replied ba le file marente na?
Man: please give me black
Man: please give me black colour condom
shopkeeper:why black colour condom????
man:my friend's dead so i want to share the sadness with his wife tomorrow night love_ever
The more you study. the
The more you study. the more you know,
The more you know. The more you forget,
The more you forget. The less you know,
So why study?
A woman goes to a
A woman goes to a doctor & said: doctor! can u make another hole near my v--na?
Dr: why?
woman: bussines is doing good, so i'm planing to open a new branch
Teacher asked Chotta Sardar:What is
Teacher asked Chotta Sardar:What is answer 7+3? Sardar:counted in his fingers. Techr: It not allowed.Sardr Put it down the hands in his Pocket, And tell the answer is "11"
Mukesh sais to Anil Ambani:"I
Mukesh sais to Anil Ambani:"I wnt to kiss ur wife". Anil replied: "Ok but 40paisa per min" anil wife shouted "don't cheat him. Reliance to reliance free.
life before marriage is AIRTEL-aisi
life before marriage is AIRTEL-aisi agadi aur kaha! After marriage is HUTCH- whenever go network follows u. but after 5 years life is notreachable.
School- a place where papa
School- a place where papa pays & son plays.
Life insurance- a contract tht keeps you poor all ur
Life so tht you can die rich.
Nurse- a person wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage- a contract in which a boy loses his.
Bachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree.
a sardar was working 1st
a sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
a customer GIRL asks:underwear dikhana'
sardar thora sharma ker: g aaj pehna nahi ha.
first prisoner:What were you convicted
first prisoner:What were you convicted for?
Second prisoner:Nothing.
First prisoner:Honestly...for nothing.I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
Cops were spreading the message:"No
Cops were spreading the message:"No more street vendors."A Venda woman said 2 de cops:"Why only Vendas,what about street Tsongas,street Zulus & the rest?"
Paroo Nay Kahaa 200 looon
Paroo Nay Kahaa 200 looon gee hill hill kay dooon gee.
kanjuse shahrukh nay kahaa 100 doon ga main khud hill loon gaa.
parooo nay kaha 100 bhe bachalay haath say hillaa lay..........!
SCIENTISTS hav done tests &
SCIENTISTS hav done tests & concluded th@, if a man sleeps wth a Chinese woman wthout a condom, he is likely to have AIDS but it won;t last bcos it's FONG KONG
God apun se bola, "KIDHAR
God apun se bola, "KIDHAR JANE KA "
Jannat Ya Dozakh !
Apun boola " DOZAKH "
U know apun aisa q bola?
Bcoz apun ko maloom k tum sala dost log
wahin mile ga......!!!:-)
SON;papa kiya ap kabhi EGYPT
SON;papa kiya ap kabhi EGYPT gaye he?
PAPA;nahi beta,kyo kiya hua
SON;to phir ye ap itni khof naak
MUMMY kaha se laye he
ALWAYS REMEMBER ME
A mans occupation is 2
A mans occupation
is 2 stick his coqulation
up a womens ventalation
2 increase the population
of the younger generation
if ya wanna demonstration
please lie down
want to hear a dirty
want to hear a dirty joke!!!!
2 pigs jumped in mud
want to hear a clean joke!!!!
they took a bath...
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.
BROTHER: BAHN MERE DOST AYE
BROTHER: BAHN MERE DOST AYE HAI CHAI BANA DO
SISTER: NAHI ME NAHI BANA RAHI
BROTHER: BANA DE JAB TERE YAR AYENGE TAB ME BANA DOUNGA
Ravand had 20 eyes but
Ravand had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman!
You have only 2 eyes.......
But you sight every woman. Now who is Ravand?
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
DHAMAKA OFFER SEND YOUR GIRLFRND 2
DHAMAKA OFFER
SEND YOUR GIRLFRND 2 ME
&
GET A CHILD FREE!!
HURRY UP 1ST TEN ENTRIES WILL GET TWINS
YOU CAN B ONE OF LUCKY MAN!!!
make ur luv to galfrnd
make ur luv to galfrnd on valentine day she will tell u a gud news on mothers day then u will hav a child on childrens day dont try this on everyone u will hav a bad news on 1 dec(aids day)muskan
close ur eyes when u
close ur eyes when u think u were ugly.......
after all u will live in dark
aik larki darzi ki dukan
aik larki darzi ki dukan pa jati hai aur pochti hai, G yah galay miltay hain?Darzi:waisay galay miltay tou nahi hain laykin ap kahti hain tou mil laytay hain.
When u fall in love
When u fall in love there is no power to stop u,
But only one power that can stop u?
Guess what????
"Abbey di juttian"..
A question was asked from
A question was asked from inzi we have heard your wife had baby, Inzi: first of all thanks to ALLAH, credit goes to boys they really worked hard its a team effort especially
curcuit-hey mammu papad aur jhapat
curcuit-hey mammu papad aur jhapat mein kya fark hai
MAMMu-nahi pata
curcuit_to kha ke dekhle pata chal jayega
MAMMU-ye chand to raat mein
MAMMU-ye chand to raat mein nikalta hai aj din mein kaise nikal gaya
GIRL-ullu to raaat mein bolta hai aaj din mein kaise bol pada`
curcuit-bhai bapu(gandhiji) ne bola tha
curcuit-bhai bapu(gandhiji) ne bola tha ki kabhi jhoot nahi bolneka,aaj se apun bhi jhoot nahi bolega
MUNNA BHAI-hey curcuit wo sunita ka baap ayela hai tereko dhund reyla hai
CURCUIT-bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai kheti karneko
MUNNA BHAI-pan abhi to tu bola ki kabhi jhoot nahi bolega
CURCUIT-apun jhoot nahi bolega par tu to bol sakta hai na
A~L~I 11 Galz ask the
A~L~I
11 Galz ask the fruit seller to give us 11 bananas.Fruit seller:I'll not sell less then 12 bananas.1 Gal said:le le yar,1 kha lein gy.
75yrz old man got married
75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng
jab gabbar paifa hua tab
jab gabbar paifa hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
fateher-kya hua?
kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the muskan
jab gabbar paifa hua tab
jab gabbar paifa hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
fateher-kya hua?
kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the muskan
ek din mirinda aur 7up
ek din mirinda aur 7up ladne lage jab pepsi ne poocha applogh kyun ladh rahe hoo, tu mirinda aur 7up ne pepsi se kaha sale kale tu apna kaam kar. khaled
Girl to Mom: "Is it
Girl to Mom: "Is it true that Babies come out from the same place where Boys put their P---S?"
Mom: "Yes"
Girl: "Wow! My Baby will come out from my mouth"
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