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Santa Banta Sms

Santa was riding on a horse

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.

Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'


Santa suffering from cold was shivering

Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.

Doc: wht happened?

Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai


Jeeto & Preeto were talking

Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.

Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.

And so quickly too!, said Preeto While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.

Banta: R u ok?

Santa: Yeah!

Banta: Did u break anything?

Santa: No, there's nothing down here


Santa goes to buy an underwear

Santa goes to buy an underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500

Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.


Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?

Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.


Santa was standing in sun

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.

Banta asked: What are you doing?

Santa: Drying sweat


Santa was looking at a painting

Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.


Santa went to see a

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?

Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.


Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!

Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?


Santa: Itne kam marks? Do

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


Santa waitin at bus stop

Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.

When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more


Lady to inspector Santa: My

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!

Santa: Why don't u cook something else.


A lady calls Santa for

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesnt turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out


Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.


Banta sent sms to Santa:

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.

Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.


Q: Why did Santa throw

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?

A: He wanted to see butterfly!


Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.

Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


Jeeto: I didn't know you

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?

Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.


Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta,

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.


Santa standing on platform suddenly

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u'll die.

Santa: U'll die bcoz havent u heard train is coming on platform?


Santa & Banta got tired

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!

Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.


Q: Why was Santa writing

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.


Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!

Banta: Oh! Thats terrible.

Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."


Jeeto: U tell a man

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.

Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.


Santa and Jeeto were on

Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.

Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!

Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.


What's Ford?

What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi


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