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SantaBanta Jokes

Q: How do you recognize

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?

A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.


Santa saw a beautiful gal...

Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.

Gal - What are you doing?

Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.


Santa suffering from constipation, sitting

Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.


Banta: J tu dasde ki

Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.

Santa: Koi hint?


Banta: Name the 3 fastest

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman


There was a short note

There was a short note written on poster of adult movie.

"Under 18 are not allowed."

Santa saw this msg, what he did next time he came with 17 people along with him.Ankit frm Delhi


Banta:how did u got a

Banta:how did u got a new car? Santa:A girl drove me to a beach, took her cloth & and said: take what do u want & i took car banta: good yaar kapde ki karne si.


American: In our country ,

American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email.Santa: In India, it is only with a female 


sardar1:Tell me a word consist

sardar1:Tell me a word consist of 100 letters

Banta: P-O-S-T-B-O-X 

Manmohan Singh to Bush -

Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year. Bush - Wow! How Many? Manmohan Singh - 100 25 - OBC 25 - SC 20 - ST 5 - Handicapped 5 - Sports Persons 5 - Terrorist Affected 5 - Kashmiri Migrants 9 - Politicians and if possible 1 -


Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.


An astronomer was watching

An astronomer was watching

the sky from his telescope

Santa Singh was observing him,

Suddenly a star falls,

seeing that Santa Singh shouted,

"Kya nishana lagaya hai!" Mahiwaal


ek bar santa singh pagal

ek bar santa singh pagal ho jata hai, wo bar-2 kehta rehta hai ke gulel banunga chidi marunga.kuch saal pagal khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho jata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karoge ?

santa: pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karunga, phir mere ladka hoga, ek saal baad main uska janamdin manaunga, janamdin par ussey bahut sare gift milenge. gift mein ek nikker bhi hogi, main uss nikker se elastic nikalunga,gulel banaunga aur chidi marunga. singla2


Gabbar: Arey o Sambha Sambha: Ji

Gabbar: Arey o Sambha

Sambha: Ji Sardar

Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?

Sambha: Do Sardar

Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?

Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.

Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?

Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai

Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?

Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata

Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?

Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.

Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?

Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?

Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?

Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao.


Banta ek sadhu se bola:

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?


Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.

Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.pinki


Santa n Banta were watching

Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.

Banta: Kya Goal mara.

Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota haiAnil


Teacher to Santa: is line

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...Indrajeet K


Santa went out to buy

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.

The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.;)


Santa (reading from book of

Santa (reading from book of facts):

"Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"

Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?

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